I Have A New Girlfriend

They gave me the "girl's toy" with my Happy Meal today. Clearly, I need a hair cut.

Side note: totally awesome toy! If you are wondering why she has a sad face, it's because you have to push her little heart button to please her. Just like a typical woman!

Take note of the convenient clip that allows her to remain attached to your hip at all times.

Just Another Day At Work

A random couple came into 13 Roses recently and had sex in our waiting room. I happened to be sitting in front of the surveillance monitor at the time (guess they didn't see the camera?) and was lucky enough to catch it. Well, maybe lucky is the wrong word. This couple adds a whole new meaning to "Hump Day."

"Eightball, back pocket! OH!"

The best part? The guy had previously been tattooed at our shop. Always nice to have a return customer.

Below is the video version. It takes a couple of minutes for them to build up the nerve to actually go for it, but the whole video is worth watching. Look for a cameo appearance by yours truly at the end.

I Figured Out Love...

It's like ordering a plain hamburger at McDonalds. You think it would be simple, but it's not. It breaks their routine. They are use to having the extras, and can't comprehend making a hamburger with nothing. So, while you expect a plain hamburger, instead you bite into a sandwich covered in Ketchup and Mayo, and the surprise can be offsetting.

So, the moral of this story: don't pick up girls at the McDonald's on Moreland Ave.

(Special thanks to April Fletcher for questioning the simplicity of love and inspiring that retort).